I was having a conversation with my mom on the phone regarding money matter and this is the summarized version of our conversation:
Mom: Why do you always tell me this (money matter) at the last minute? You should have told me earlier… (and my mom goes on nagging for 5minutes, bringing up old grudges.)
Me: Sorry sorry… (it was really my fault that I brought it up at the last minute, but I was a little exasperated that she always brings up old grudges)
Mom: You should also discuss this issue with your father, but he’s not at home now.
Me: Why… ?
It was 10pm then and I was wondering where my father was. Hence, my "Why" referred to why wasn't my father home. However, my mom interpreted my question as "Why should I discuss it with my father", in which she thought it was rude of me.Soon, my mother continued with her nagging.
It was 10pm then and I was wondering where my father was. Hence, my "Why" referred to why wasn't my father home. However, my mom interpreted my question as "Why should I discuss it with my father", in which she thought it was rude of me.Soon, my mother continued with her nagging.
I quickly began to clarify my question. At that instance, I was so tempted to point out her mistake in misinterpreting my question and bringing up old grudges.
However, I decided not to after a quick reflection. I realized I was partly at fault for this miscommunication because my question was indeed too vague. I also realized there’s no point in trying to “win” this conversation.
Eventually, after clarification, my mother told me where my father went, and we ended the conversation on a peaceful note.
Through this short conversation, I realize it is so easy to pick up an argument. I could have succumb to my temptation and retorted her. Fortunately, I managed to “stepped on the brake” to prevent further unnecessary conflicts and argument.
If you were in my position, what would you do?
However, I decided not to after a quick reflection. I realized I was partly at fault for this miscommunication because my question was indeed too vague. I also realized there’s no point in trying to “win” this conversation.
Eventually, after clarification, my mother told me where my father went, and we ended the conversation on a peaceful note.
Through this short conversation, I realize it is so easy to pick up an argument. I could have succumb to my temptation and retorted her. Fortunately, I managed to “stepped on the brake” to prevent further unnecessary conflicts and argument.
If you were in my position, what would you do?
Hi WeiLi,
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned a very valid point. Many conflicts arise because we do not control our mouth and say things in a fit of anger. As such, many relationships are hurt.
I think your EQ is really high. You know how to manage your emotions very well and managed to get your point across to your mother really well! :D
Hey Wei Li,
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel about the misunderstanding. Too often have I made the similar mistake of being to brief in my replies and thus allowing for ambiguities. Sometimes I realise how vague my reply sounds as I say it, and I have the chance to clarify without any arguments breaking out. When I am not quick enough to catch myself then trouble starts.
I suppose it is inevitable that everyone will have a disagreement with their parents at some point or another in life. I suppose what differs for everyone is how we manage such disagreements and conflicts. Personally, I feel that your diplomatic and non confrontational approach is the best one as there really is nothing to be gained by escalating the situation. Like you said, there is no point in trying to 'win' a conversation.
Hey Wei Li,
ReplyDeleteI completely empathize with you on the part about parents bringing up old grudges. It tends to happen to me too.
Overall, I feel that you handled the situation well because pointing out one's mistake during an accelerated conversation hardly brings about a favourable outcome. So, I feel that restraining yourself at that point was a good move.
I also feel that you clarifying the misinterpretation during the conversation helped a great deal in producing an amicable outcome.
Hi Weili, this is a concise post to the assignment, and you have done well describing the context as well as the people involved.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the sharing!
Thanks for hearing me out.
ReplyDeleteAt some point of time, I guess most of us experience communication problem with our parents. I hope all of us have our own peaceful way of solving communication problem.
Thanks